Two People, Two Lasting Impressions

Much of our success or failure in communication can be found in first impressions. As much depends on tone, facial expression, and  body language as on the words themselves. We build a reaction to someone or something predicated on the first encounter.  And so it was with our recent vacation.

Due to terrible motion sickness, I don't fly well and I am often a bit rattled on landing. I couldn't wait to get to our hotel to freshen up and get something to eat.

This was our first experience with Disney's Magical Express, the complimentary transportation from the airport to the Walt Disney World resort. The bus driver, we'll call him Sam, was all smiles when we boarded however that disappeared as he contended with heavy holiday traffic and blown schedules. None of his ire was directed as his passengers but it was a surprise that he would be so vocal about his distress.

Upon arrival, a Disney hotel cast member greeted us by name and escorted us into the hotel lobby.  Her smiling face and cheery demeanor were as bright as the Florida sunshine and did much to erase the tense beginning to our vacation.

I sympathize with Sam. Traffic back ups and delays are frustrating. We live in the Chicago area and we always speak about our commutes in terms of time, not distance. We know about bad traffic.  We had a different driver when we left so we didn't see Sam again. We will always wonder if things improved as his day progressed. We certainly hope so. And, although we always looked for her whenever we passed through the lobby, we never saw the hotel greeter again either.

Two people, two impressions.  The manner in which they communicated with us will be with us forever. 

There is no way to know how our clients or customers feel when they encounter us. We don't know what happened to them prior to meeting with us so how we initially communicate with them will impact them in ways we cannot imagine.  Our vacation experience reminded me how important it is to strive to make that first impression a good one.

Red Carpet Looks Say More Than Stars Think

We speak to one another with our bodies. You can picture it: arms across our chests, or hands on hips, or head down and turned away. All these postures say a lot. In fact, body language often belies the words that come from our mouths.

In a television drama titled Lie to Me, professionals were hired to determine the truth in a situation by observing body language. The first season was particularly good because it used photos of real celebrities to illustrate its point. 

I thought about that show on Sunday as I watched the Oscar red carpet. A lot of attention is focused on the female stars and what they wear. This public appearance is hard work. After hours of preparation, the women will be mercilessly critiqued if they made a bad choice and they don't want to win the Worst Dressed title.

This year, I paid more attention to body language than in prior years, probably due to remarks made by Adele and Jennifer Hudson about their desire to be comfortable. It was obvious that they were pleased with their choices. They stood erect and owned their space. Their smiles were relaxed and genuine. Whether or not you personally liked the Dior dress worn by Charlize Theron, it was obvious that she did. By contrast, watch Kerry Washington. Lovely dress but it didn't fit. On exiting her limo, she pulled the dress up repeatedly. Once in front of the cameras, she moved very carefully and there was often a worried look on her face.

Probably half the women made poor selections and they knew it. Dresses didn't fit properly, were too revealing, or had other design flaws. Folded in on themselves, arms clamped tightly to their bodies, shoulders rounded, these stars looked and sounded like they would welcome a "do-over." In a couple of cases, I felt sorry for them.

The Oscars red carpet is a light-weight example. The same observations apply to all aspects of our lives. Subliminally aware of body language, we react to it more than we realize. It might improve our communication ability if we became consciously attune to it, responding to what we see in a person in addition to what we hear from them. No doubt our relationships would improve as a result.